A very first for me. I was impatient, annoyed, crazy and losing it because this woman at a dangerous intersection wasn't going forward when I felt the coast was clear. I was behind her. Horrifying my poor son (because I was acting totally nuts and he was trying to tell me to chill) I beeped …
Continue reading Heart Opening: an example in restitution and self forgiveness
A very first for me. I was impatient, annoyed, crazy and losing it because this woman at a dangerous intersection wasn't going forward when I felt the coast was clear. I was behind her. Horrifying my poor son (because I was acting totally nuts and he was trying to tell me to chill) I beeped …
Continue reading Sometimes your heart opens when you least expect it…
Do you ever go home upset about something and your spouse tries to tell you what to do? His/her intent is to make you feel better but inside you want to scream. This is how children feel when they are not given true empathy and validation. Here is an example: “you really wanted that ice …
Have you ever given a child a complement and they disagreed with the complement you gave them? The child didn’t believe you. Now try saying to them “when the dog cried you saw if he was ok – that is caring." "When your sister needed a Band-Aid you got one for her. That is helpful …
When we give in to our child out of guilt, they actually internalize a feeling of “badness.” When we give in to our child because it is convenient – and we don’t want to deal with the conflict – we are building up resentment – which may come out later. Instead, make decisions that feel …
It takes two to engage in a power struggle. If we are constantly finding ourselves in a power struggle, that is a sign that we must change our behavior in order for the child to change his. Having a plan of action (different than what you have been trying) is most important. Obviously what you …
Composure is an important skill in parenting. It is important to model it and teach it to your child. If we can keep our cool in challenging times, we are modeling the same behavior in our children. Stress, lack of sleep and trigger thoughts are ingredients for aggression. Are you pampering and caring for yourself? …
Composure is an important skill in parenting. It is important to model it and teach it to your child. If we can keep our cool in challenging times, we are modeling the same behavior in our children. Stress, lack of sleep and trigger thoughts are ingredients for aggression. Are you pampering and caring for yourself? …
Are you the kind of person who means what you say? This is something I sometimes ask a child when they are resolving a conflict. It is a powerful phrase! In modeling this, am I the kind of person who means what I say? Children feel valued and respected when adults mean what they say. …
Kim Hiles, Author 