What sacrifices have you made in life?

What a triggering word!

So many people are taught to put others before themselves. Wherever it was learned (i.e. church, family, school, etc.) many are taught to do it for her, them or others.  Rarely are people taught to do a self check and do what feels right for themselves.

You see, the way I look at it is like this:  The loving choice for me is the loving choice for you.  It creates a space for the right person/experience to form or enter into the picture. This can be a growing experience for all.

So many people feel bad for doing the loving choice for themselves. And yet by doing things for others, at the expense of ourselves, everyone loses. The energy is off and our best self is not present. Love has diminished.

If someone makes a sacrifice it is because on some level it’s what they want. It’s something they have chosen to enter into. It comes from love. And in that case, it was never a sacrifice.

For example, some people may say that being a stay-at-home mom was a sacrifice. Sure, we were dirt broke and really struggled but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. It was what I wanted and it was right for me and my baby.

I would love to see more and more of our children/youth being taught to check in with themselves. When they are being given that freedom to fill up their own cup, they are more apt to give and extend love to others naturally. This can be done in a kind way by teaching them to use “I” statements and problem solve. 

Here is an example. Many times children are taught to share before they are developmentally ready. It’s forced! This can teach greed, resentment and fear. Can you imagine working on a painting and someone randomly tells you that you need to work on it with someone else? We would not ask that of ourselves so why do we push that onto our children?  Don’t get me wrong, setting limits and having boundaries is crucial in our development. But so is teaching others how to honor themselves.

In a world full of division, we could use more problem solvers and innovators.  That is something that is taught.

So before you “make a sacrifice,” ask if it’s right for you.