When I make that statement, it may not be what you think it means. It is not: Putting others first Pleasing others at the expense of yourself Staying silent to keep the peace Feeling resentful but choosing to be outwardly kind Allowing others to hurt you When I say choose Love, I mean to: Speak …
I remember the first time I had an Ah Ha moment with regard to the mirror factor. I wrote a list of all of the things that bothered me about someone else. I then looked at that list and realized that I also could act like that on occasion. Awareness was the first step. I …
Do you remember the story of the boy who was taught to fear strangers that when "strangers" were trying to rescue him in the woods, he hid? How many articles have you read to stay away from "toxic people" and "narcissists?" There is such a level of us vs them (division) in our world we …
There is a story I tell myself. It goes something like this. Friends will disappoint you, leave you, hurt you . . . it always happens. And sure, if I focus on this story or believe this story then it continues to manifest over and over again. Or does it? At times I have felt …
Wherever I look, I see memes, articles or quotes telling us not to let THEM get to us. Most of the time, it is disguised as a motivational message. But in many instances, there is a sense that you need to rise above THEM, whatever THEM is being referenced. Don't let THEM get to you. …
The first time I experienced the mirror factor, was over 25 years ago. In doing an activity on forgiveness and what I was hurt by, and writing it all out, I realized that I had done something similar to others. I was blown away. I realized that in seeing myself in others, in some way, I …
I am coming up on 20 years of marriage and 23 years together. In looking back, I am most grateful that Will didn't quit on me. I am most grateful for the mentors and teachers along the way. When I would cry my eyes out and blame him for this or that, I was guided …
Throughout the years I've observed many a partnership failing because he/she was too this or that or not enough of this or that. Or simply, because the magic died. We have been together 22 years and I realize that it was never about my partner. It was always about me and my beliefs, thoughts …
The us vs. them mentality just doesn't work and it leaves us in a perpetual state of victimhood and duality. It is much harder, yet more empowering and rewarding, when we take our issues directly to the source of our discontent and have a crucial conversation with positive intent. What positive intent means is this. …
Kim Hiles, Author 